Singapore: A guide to shopping mall living.

So who here likes travel packages? You know the type where you pay a travel company to take care of all your accommodation, meals and sightseeing so all you have to do is turn up? Hands up! No, put them up where I can see them. Actually I can’t see them because this is just a blog. A blog that isn’t funny. I guess I like these types of packages, as I paid for one to take me from Ko Phan Nang to Singapore (about 750 miles away) in time for a date to meet a friend (in less than 36 hours).

A Thai travel agent sold me a $45US package which would take me to Singapore via a cruise ship and luxury VIP air conditioned coach in less than 32 hours. In truth, the cruise liner equated to a slave ship. I slept on a grass mat on the lower decks which were too narrow to stand up. It was like I was on the Amistad, I was going to start a rebellion with the other backpackers to overthrow our Thai slave owners but I was too tired after the Full Moon Party. Actually I didn’t mind the cramped space, as I was accompanied by a large number of Irish backpackers who brought out a case of beer and a wooden drum. The lower deck was transformed into the vibrant lower class decks seen in the Titanic. I would have got up and danced like Leonardo Di Caprio except I there was no room. Who knew the peasant life was such a party! My VIP bus turned out to be a small minivan where air-conditioning meant sticking your head out the window. (I wanted more for my $45 god damn it!)

The journey also meant changing vehicles three times as I passed from Thailand, through Malaysia and into Singapore. The Thai travel agent failed to mention I would be sitting at random bus stops for hours while I waited for the next leg of the trip, but at least they got the 32 hour bit right. I guess I can say that I have been to Malaysia, but it only involved screaming down a highway at 100 miles an hour in a minivan. They do, however, have good bus stops and their billboards are in English. Wow I’m an observant traveler.

So, after glimpse of Malaysia I arrived in Singapore at 6am and met up with a good university mate who I hadn’t seen in four years. He was an Australian expat who grew up in Singapore moved to Sydney for his university degree and then returned to Singapore for work. Interestingly, he told me that in Singapore you only pay 8% tax, and that it’s one of the world’s major shipping ports. Ooh and did you know the country is only 240 square miles? And in WW2 the Japanese invaded it riding bicycles?!

It's the Wiggles of apartment blocks

So I spent a couple of days in Singapore. It was pleasant – a far cry from the slums I had previously visited. Walking around the city gave me the feel of a big shopping mall. It was orderly and sanitized (chewing gum is illegal) and all that was missing was cheesy mall music and parents with prams parking spaces.

In Singapore I played a bad game of Mini-golf and saw a 3D film called Extreme Log Ride. Well what other type of log ride would you want to take? Duh! I also saw the Disney film Enchanted. I’m a man. And I brought a USB stick that gave off a light peppermint scent to relax you. Talk about funky Asian inventions!

I headed to Singapore’s impressive airport (free massage chairs and movies) and caught a plane to Bali to rejoin the other Ozbus passengers. Wow, didn’t I just write a great blog!

Simply recounting events makes for damn good reading… (insert sarcasm).

Me interesting.