India: Kolkata. "Kolkata Baby Yeah!"

As the Tibetan roads were subject to "landslides" we had to head back to India to catch a flight to Bangkok.

After catching a taxi from Kolkata airport our taxi drove us through a slum and proudly noted that the inhabitants were Muslim scum. After meeting wonderful Muslims like Bilal in Pakistan this trip sure has opened my eyes to different prejudices. Anyway, we were dropped off at our hotel. As I was unloading my bags I caught the eye of a local man who was taking a dump in the gutter. He really didn't seem to care that it was a busy street. Our eyes met and I found myself staring at a man mid-shit, and he gave off the same look as a temple monkey. "Yes I'm shitting in a gutter, but I can't afford a toilet so either bear my smell or shove off!" I left.

I don't mind slums – it's a fact of life, but Kolkata seemed to be overridden with them. I asked hotel reception what was a local tourist attraction I could see (preferably slum free.) I was advised to go to India's largest planetarium. Yes!

The biggest planetarium in India!

Well I want to declare my love for planetariums. I love them! I wish they went for longer than 45 minutes as they fully transport you to another world. The New York planetarium is narrated by a recorded Robert Redford, the Washington D.C by a recorded Tom Hanks, the Kolkata… is presented live by old Indian lady more concerned about screaming at ringing cell phones than pointing out constellations. It wasn't even a movie, just a series of white dots (stars) projected onto the dome, which she pointed at using a laser pointer. I was bitterly disappointed. But as I left I remembered seeing a man shit in a gutter earlier that day. So if a city has gutter shitting citizens maybe their planetarium budget isn't as big as it's American counterparts. They were doing well with what they had.

We were stuck in traffic so I asked the driver if he wanted to lean out the window with me for a photo. He did. Utter professionalism.

Kolkata Baby. Yeah!

PS: I also saw a local beggar present some dancing monkeys – which were two monkeys tied in rope nooses, which were yanked up and down causing the monkeys to "dance". Instead of dancing these monkeys decided to fornicate in front of me. A literal F**k you to their master. Go you simian friends!

He proclaimed he had some dancing monkeys. Their dancing was just him yanking them by the neck. The mokeys ignored the animal cruelty by having sex.