Iran: Yazd and Kerman. Hey Hey it's the Taliban.

Hmm, Iranian TV is a funny old thing.

You'd have a two hour documentary on aluminium water pipes in Northern Iran, then a troupe of singing children set against a montage of orchids and yaks followed with another documentary on steel water pipes in eastern Iran. You'd even see the occasional children's game show. Girls aren't allowed to participate in these shows but is that a bad thing? At least they aren't cringing at their 21st party when their parents show their cute but embarrassing game show appearance. Yep Iranian TV may not have sex, drugs or violence but hey it does have yaks, boys and water pipes.

So we drove to the nice but unremarkable city of Yazd. We stayed in the Meji Traditional hotel - the only hotel in the world that's a UNESCO world heritage site. Originally built as a sultan's house, it dates from the 16th century and has an amazing courtyard. If it was transplanted to the west it would instantly be the hottest nightclub in town. I would put my house on it. (If I owned a house.) But it wasn't in the west. It was in remote Iran. So it was only filled with western backpackers fantasizing about it being in their hometowns.

Meji Traditonal Hotel.

Tired of fantasizing with other backpackers, I returned to my room and caught a bit of Iranian TV. But instead of a yak montage, I saw Al Jazeera in English. Al Jazeera is the Arabic news channel offering opposing views to western news sources like CNN and Fox News and through their Arab links received tapes from Osama Bin Laden and Al Qaeda. They recently started their English news service composed mainly of ex BBC news presenters.

Tonight they were showing tapes from the Taliban forces in Afghanistan. The Taliban were the ruling government before 9/11and were disposed by US forces for harbouring Osama. The exiled Taliban were angry and used guerrilla tactics to fight US troops in an attempt to regain power. The news reader announced that the Taliban had launched a propaganda war and were filming their fight against US forces. The reader also said that viewers may find the following images disturbing, but after a few days of sex, drugs and violence free Iranian TV, I was keen to see some excitement. I wish I hadn't.

The TV cut to a group of Taliban fighters perched high on a cliff looking over the road below. An Afghan police car is seen driving on the road towards the fighters. The Taliban then pull a dynamite strapped donkey out from behind a rock and with precision timing push the struggling donkey off the cliff and it explodes on the police car bursting it into flames. This attack was in an area we were visiting. I better watch out or falling donkeys. Wow. Could someone please turn the yaks back on?

The next day we visited the ancient city of Kerman and I went to a five mile long bazaar filed with metro sexual mannequins and gawking Iranians. I bought an authentic pair of Diesel shoes for only $10US! Salmeh the shop owner assured me they were real. What you don't believe me? Take that back! Don't talk to me like you're my real dad!

I love Iranian mannequins

Kerman is also relatively close to the Afghanistan border and is the start of the Smugglers Highway. A large quantity of the world's heroin is produced in Afghanistan and travels through Iran to the west. Valli sternly warned the bus "Please Kerman, don't go outside hotel. Bad Iranians gangsters with heroin around and you will be shot". Valli then cheerfully swayed into the history of Kerman. "King of Kerman bad man. He made his parliament eunuch by cutting some balls. He is jealous of people of Kerman so he cut out eyes and for years the 16,000 peoples of Kerman were blind. Thank you!"


A city of blind people? Imagine that! Please note I'm not going to make any blind jokes (but even if I did, they wouldn't see them).

Cue canned laughter. Sorry that joke was in poor taste.... awkward silence... Ok onto the next entry.