Czech it out! I hate alarm clocks.

I hate alarm clocks.

They annoyingly wake you up (yes, i know that's what they're supposed to do) and they put the rooster out of work.

Actually hate is a strong word, what i meant to say is that I hate alarm clocks when they don't go off. The alarm clock i'm referring to didn't go off because... cough... (hushed voice) I didn't set it properly. Yes, i know it's my fault. I admit it. I can handle the truth. I'm sure all you alarm clock lovers will point that out. It's just that this alarm clock failure had huge consequences.

It was my last night in London. The bus was due to leave at 7:30am the next morning. I was going to get there at 6:30 am just to be safe. After having a wonderful meal with a best mate's parents in Hoxton Square I decided to go home. I was staying with my cousin in Allgate and as I was arriving he was leaving to have a night out in Fulham. He said I was welcome to come.

A mature man would say "no thank you i have a 10,000 mile bus ride tomorrow. I really should sleep now as those damn coach seats are uncomfortable."

The immature boy Andrew Marriott said "Oh yeah! It's my last night in London! I mean I can always sleep on the bus."

I proceeded to have a great night out with my cousin. The night included a club filled with beautiful people and expensive drinks and my cousin being (innocently) headbutted on the street and then having a policeman tell him that the headbutter wants to press charges (it was all ok, but i learned that when you drunkenly speak to cops, your hands should ALWAYS be in your pockets). The night also had the obligatory kebab.

By the time i got home it was 4:30am, and being drunk and tired I figured that my bags were already packed so a short nap wouldn't hurt. So i set my alarm and went to sleep -I woke up at 10:00am.

I ran down to the bus departure location in the hope that the 37 passengers would be diligently waiting for a drunken Australian idiot. They weren't. They were already on the ferry to France.

I frantically rang Ozbus only to find out that i wouldn't be able to catch them until the following evening when the bus arrived in Prague. Defeated, I booked a (sl) Easyjet out of Gatwick and then moaped around my cousin's flat cursing my alarm clock.

The next day I flew into Prague about six hours ahead of the bus. I wandered around the city listening to Joy Division, comprehending that i knew nothing about the Czech Republic except that they made Pilsner and they were the only country in Europe with 13 letters in it's name.

I stumbled upon a football match featuring the top Czech team Sparta Prague. I paid my 150 Koruna and decided to sit with the club's passionate supporters. The match was entertaining but I was more interested in trying to ape their Czech chants. In the end i could only join in their sole English chant - the imaginative "Lets go Sprata".

That night met up with the rest of the Ozbus group-it's an interesting cross section of tourists. There is the 19 year old schooleavers right up to the 70 year old Welsh couple. They are all nice.

We all went out as a group and ended up at a bar/restaurant/club/strip club (those Czechs sure are functional). Not being a strip club regular (I just don't find the thought of 50 men sharing a communal erection over a badly dancing girl that arousing), I attempted to take a photo of a fellow ozbuser drinking Pilsner (totally innocent. Honest). I had taken my camera out of my case, when a fellow traveller frantically told me to put it away. Good thing, because the bouncer/neanderthal/stripper's boyfriend was about the launch me out the exit. Note to self: there are no Kodak moments in strip clubs.

Today was overcast and I saw a few tourist attractions populated by an army of Japanese and Italian tourist pensioners. As a result of the weather i have holed up in an Internet cafe and did something i swore i would never do - write a novel of a blog describing my actions, instead of enjoying my holiday.

That's it- I'm going to be proactive. I'm going to do more in my holiday!

Starting tomorrow I'll be getting up early.

Let me just set my alarm.